The hyde Chapter Kitty Part 1
hyde
horizoninfinity
I first had a pet in the first grade of elementary school. I think that I received it from somewhere; it really seemed like a Japanese cat that looked like Mike (originally: ミケっぽい). Perhaps, because my parents thought that I was lonesome since both my parents worked, somehow they wanted it to become a friend substitute for me. It was very cute and it learned how to be affectionate. If it was now, I would think that it was violent; however, it grasped me with two hands in a very cute way and went round and round. It did quite a pitiable thing but I loved it so much.
Its name was Tama. I forgot if it was from Turban Shell. Tama was also affectionate towards my family, but something happened in fourth grade. When my mother went to a book store, Tama was accidentally brought into her car; it got thrown into the road the moment the door was opened and got hit by a car. If it had been instant death, it would have been good.However, it was alive in the miserable state of being hit in the head. It continued to say : ”Zee, zee”. My mother said: “Sorry” and “I shouldn’t have taken you with me”. It was quickly taken to the hospital for dogs and cats, but I still remembered being asked: “How about putting it to death peacefully?”. When I think about it now, I am aware that it couldn’t be saved. However, since I was a child, I didn’t understand how terrible the state it was in, so I asked the doctor to perform a surgery to heal it. After I left the hospital, I thought that the surgery would heal it. After a few days, when I heard the sound of my mother’s coming back home by car and from the window saw my mother holding a stage bar, I rushed over with a smile saying: “Tama, are you healed?”. After that, my mother broke down and cried. For a child, it was cruel reality. Even though it couldn’t be healed… I rushed over with a smile. To my mother, it was heart-breaking.

Life is conundrum
hyde
horizoninfinity
How can one find meaning in a meaningless life? I want to push life to the limit. Unshackled by rules and convention. To live is to search for beauty. We can find beauty in the most common place. Without beauty, life would be unbearable. One can't find meaning, one has to create meaning, otherwise life is meaningless.

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